180 Degrees

My life has changed so drastically in these last few months. I am finally realizing what it is I want, what I want to spend my time doing, what makes me happy. I never would have imagined that any of this would happen. That I would return home to help the family. That I would be sitting here, in RI, feeling trapped and bored but figuring it all out...
Oh, its a weird little story, this thing called life. Funny, how now, in the midst of all this turmoil I feel more myself than I have in a long time. I must be nearing the end of the tunnel, feelings are beginning to settle into place. Contentment is making a home in my chest.
I'm off this straight and narrow I was running down. And coming off was like hitting a brick wall, like that feeling as your running down a hill, trying to stop but the momentum just wants you to keep going. Well, I've been fighting that momentum for the last few months, and the fall out that comes with hitting that wall. Nursing the wounds, contemplating picking back up the straight and narrow, and eventually coming to terms with the fear of the unknown. Even if the path is out there; I've created it, prepped it up, and opened the doors, I shouldn't travel down it if it doesn't make me happy. And, hell, it doesn't make me happy in the least.
So, I jump. I take the road not traveled. The one I now need to forge slowly, a piece at a time because its not laid out for me and no one is telling me what to do with it. It's terrifying, exhilarating, liberating, heart-racing. I feel like I'm living again. Not running a race, but living a life. Not composing a resume but exploring the world around me.